The Guilt of Forgiveness
by only-some-loser
Summary: Mac was so unprepared for the hit that it took him to the ground, his cheekbone burning. He looked up at Jack in shock, and a little bit of fear. Jack hit him. Jack, who had promised, who had sworn on his very life that he would never hurt him, had struck him so hard he fell to the ground. (tag to 2x02, Muscle Car Paper Clip, episode AU)


**AN: This is the twenty-third installment of my personal challenge to write a tag for every episode. This is a tag to 2x02, Muscle Car + Paper Clip. It's an AU where Jack doesn't only threaten to hurt Mac, but he actually does. Jack is pretty OOC in this, but tbh, I thought he was very OOC in the actual ep too. Despite that, I hope you enjoy, and please leave a review!**

* * *

He had never seen Jack like this, and frankly, it was a little concerning. The man was acting completely out of character, and very hostile towards Mac, which _never_ happened. Mac tried, and tried, and _tried_ to get Jack to stop, to slow down, to get a grip before he gets Riley killed, but he wouldn't listen to reason. He kept trying to shove Mac away and push past him, but the blond was insistent.

"Don't make me hurt you, Mac," Jack growled. Mac just rolled his eyes. He knew Jack would never hurt him, so he didn't hesitate to try to stop Jack again when the man tried to move past him.

Mac was so unprepared for the hit that it took him to the ground, his cheekbone burning. He looked up at Jack in shock, and a little bit of fear. Jack hit him. Jack had _hit_ him. Jack, who had promised, who had sworn on his very life that he would never hurt him, had struck him so hard he fell to the ground. Jack's eyes were equally wide, hands running through his sparse hair as he swore in realization of what he'd done.

"Mac, I..." Jack started, but trailed off. Mac didn't say anything, he just stayed in his place on the ground, trying to slow his breathing back down. He reached up and brushed where Jack had hit him, wincing at the feeling of blood under his fingers where the man's ring had broken the skin. Jack had a mean right hook. The man quickly reached a hand down as if to help pull Mac up, but the blond flinched back, away from the man who had always been his source of comfort, his security, his rock.

"I can't believe you did that," he whispered. Mac stood up on his own, quickly brushing past Jack and towards the car.

"Mac, I'm- I'm sorry!" Jack shouted. "I'm so, so sorry. You know I would never-" he stopped abruptly. Mac knew he was about to say he would never hurt him, but they both knew that clearly wasn't true.

Jack was called off the mission, and not before long, Cage replaced him by Mac's side. Mac couldn't hide the bruise, and he couldn't hide the reason why it was there. Cage was a highly trained operative, and was incredibly skilled at reading people. It would be pointless to hide the truth from her, but Mac allowed himself to hope that maybe she wouldn't mention it.

Of course, he could never be so lucky.

"Is Jack okay?" she asked.

Mac stared at her in confusion for a moment before replying, "what?"

"I know I haven't been working with you for very long, but I'm good at reading people and relationships, so I know that you mean the world to Jack and that he would never hurt you unless there was something seriously wrong with him. It would be entirely out of character for him. So, is Jack okay?" Cage repeated with slight grin on her face. This kind of thing seemed to be fun for her.

"He's fine," Mac sighed. "He's just worried about Riley." He took a paper clip out of his pocket and began fiddling with it, hoping it would relax him. It didn't. He just couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. Jack had actually hit him. It hurt more emotionally than it did physically, but the bruise on his cheek did refuse to be completely ignored.

"I know he cares a lot for Riley, and from what I can see of their history, I can under why. But that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you too. Jack's just a bit of a one track mind kind of guy. At the moment, Riley seemed to be in the most immediate danger, so he did everything he could to try to help her, even though that meant hurting you. But I would hazard a guess that as soon as he did that, he forgot all about Riley for the moment, and became only concerned with you."

Mac didn't reply for a while, instead pondering what Cage had said. In a way, she was right. Jack really could only focus on one thing at a time, and since it was Riley's first solo mission, he was understandably caught up in only thoughts of her. Mac couldn't really fault him for that, and he _did_ look beyond terrified and guilty the moment Mac had fallen to the ground. It was Jack after all. He had always looked out for Mac, always. Just because he made a mistake when he let his one track mind and emotions get the better of him didn't mean that he was about to start hurting Mac on a regular basis, or even that he didn't feel great remorse over what he had done. Everyone made mistakes.

"Yeah," Mac finally said. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Cage looked like she was about to reply when Matty's voice came over the radio to inform them of their next part of the mission. Mac would have to ignore what had happened for the rest of the night.

* * *

Just because the mission ended up being a success didn't mean that Jack was okay. It had been a terrible day to say the least. Not only had Riley nearly gotten killed, but he had hurt Mac. He hit him. Jack had always sworn on his life to protect that kid, but he was hurt by Jack's own hand, literally. The guilt was overwhelming. It felt like there was nothing Jack could ever do to make it up to him.

He could see Mac laughing and smiling with the others, yet wincing when it pulled at the massive bruise. If the bruise had been on anyone else, Jack would've been proud of himself. But it wasn't on anyone else. It was on Mac, complete with a cut from where his ring had gouged the kid's skin. Just seeing the mark made him feel sick. He couldn't believe he'd done that. How had he gotten so caught up in his head that he'd laid his hands on the one he swore to protect? He needed to fix this, he couldn't let this destroy them, though he knew Mac had every right to hate him. Hell, Jack hated himself.

"Hey, Mac?" Jack said hesitantly, slowly walking towards his partner, afraid to look him in the eye.

"Yeah?" Mac replied, his voice equally as hesitant.

"Uhm, I think we should talk, shouldn't we?" Jack asked, slowly making eye contact with Mac.

"Yeah, sure," the kid replied, taking a few steps away so he and Jack could have a bit of privacy.

"I'm sorry, Mac, I'm so, so sorry. I have never been more sorry for anything in my life-"

"I know, Jack," Mac interjected. "It's okay. People make mistakes, it happens. I forgive you."

"No, Mac, no, it's not okay. I made a promise you to, to myself, and to _God Himself_ that I would always do everything in my power to protect you, to take care of you, and I broke that promise," Jack said, his voice thick with emotion. "I will be spending the rest of my life trying to make this up to you, trying to fix what I've done. You mean everything to me, Mac. Everything. And I am so, so sorry that I hurt you. I never wanted to do anything to break your trust, and I'm so sorry that I did. I know I don't deserve it, but please give me a second chance. Give me time to make up for what I've done," Jack pleaded. He needed Mac to not hate him, even though he had every right to. He needed Mac to understand how much he cared about him, how much he _loved_ him.

Mac sighed, saying, "Jack, stop being so overdramatic. Yeah, you messed up, but I'm fine, and I know you were only scared for Riley. I understand, and it's okay. I'm being serious when I say I forgive you," he said, putting his hand on Jack's shoulder. "But it is nice to hear you say that you're sorry," he added with a grin.

"You can punch me if it makes you feel any better?" Jack suggested with a smile. "Come on man, I deserve it. Hit me."

"No, I'm not gonna hit you-"

"I really deserve it-"

"Too bad. If you wanna make it up to me, buy me an expensive steak dinner. Is that enough for you?" Mac suggested with his own smile. Jack could only smile back. This was feeling much more like their usual banter. Maybe everything would be okay, although it was kind of concerning how quickly Mac had forgiven him. The kid had such a kind and forgiving nature, and that often got him taken advantage of. Jack hated being the one taking advantage of it this time. He only hoped the kid wouldn't get burned again because of it.

"That's certainly a start," Jack replied patting his partner on the back before the two headed back towards the rest of the team.

No matter what Mac said, Jack would always carry the guilt of what he'd done. To himself, it was unforgivable. It was so very _Mac_ for the kid to have already forgiven him for it, and insist that he didn't need to make up for anything. Jack couldn't understand how he'd gotten so blessed to have such an amazing partner. He certainly didn't deserve Mac, but he would be damned if he didn't spend the rest of his life trying to.


End file.
